I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
