I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
