You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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