trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
