It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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