We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Michael Bay diarrhea
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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