I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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