He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
