well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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