Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
