one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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