She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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