Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
