can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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