More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
