This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
