Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize