I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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