apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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