Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
