Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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