Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
