I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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