it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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