dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
