i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
