We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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