Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
