brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.