What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
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there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
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Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding