we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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