i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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