I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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