you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
