Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
