Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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