i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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