i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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