I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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