I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
