she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
