dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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