Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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