Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
