I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
