At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
