your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
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