so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
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At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
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You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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