I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
