he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
