1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
