She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
