I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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