Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
