to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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