She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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