how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
