I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
