I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
