True but thats because hes a fetus.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your dad touched me again.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
