just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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