we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
