We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
